How therapy works
The starting point in therapy is finding yourself in conversation with someone who understands people in general but is particularly focused on getting to know you. And understand you. They put you at ease, and you feel safe. You start to talk about your life, your problems, what has worked and what hasn't, your aspirations, your worries. They listen in a caring way. They respond with an emphasis on those aspects of your story that point towards new meanings that you can make. You start to see old situations with new eyes, and find within yourself the beginnings of a way forward. This is how therapy works. The relationship becomes therapeutic. Just being in a session and having these conversations is valuable.
In a book entitled 'How Therapy Works', Louis Cozolino explains that humans have evolved to seek out ways of feeling connection and belonging. Therapists make use of this to help their clients construct a new personal narrative that is, in itself, healing. One feature of the adult brain is its ability to change through learning, a process known as neuroplasticity. We now know from modern brain imaging techniques that therapy enables people to lay down new neural pathways. We work in the present to heal the emotional wounds of the past and assure a better future.
In an article entitled 'Research: the friendly facts' in the March 2026 edition of Therapy Today, Mick Cooper shares and summarises the latest research on therapy, and the features that make it effective. He concludes, 'gaining insight has been found to be the most commonly described outcome of therapy by clients, leading to the potential for new behaviours, choices and ways of relating to self and others, as well as greater mental clarity, confidence and control.'
Other common outcomes of therapy listed in the Cooper article include:
- experiencing relief
- feeling heard, understood, and accepted
- developing new skills/coping strategies
- becoming more in touch with emotions
- feeling empowered
- having a sense of reassurance/feeling supported/having a sense of hope.
Gill places great emphasis on the therapeutic relationship and on incorporating techniques and approaches proven to improve therapy outcomes, such as Integrative Psychosexual Therapy and EMDR. Both of these provide a structure for understanding how difficult experiences stay with you, like flashbacks from a traumatic event or sexual beliefs from a toxic relationship. When difficult experiences are processed effectively, they no longer have such a hold on you, freeing you to make changes you never thought possible. You can be the person you want to be. And that is the gift of therapy.